So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Ketchup is God's man juice
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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