Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
