Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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