My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
