I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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