maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
