she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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