i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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