you guys were way drunker than both of me
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize