hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
