yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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