Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
