i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
