i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
