some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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