We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
