So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
