I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
