You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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