Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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