I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
