just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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