I feel like I'm in dance class right now
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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