I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
