Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I feel great
I just peed on a car
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
