Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
