she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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