It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
And then my night got REAL pukey
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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