why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
