We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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