Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
