she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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