i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
