my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
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