Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
