Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Do you still have your period?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
dude i'm inner monologue high
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
