"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
