You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
