this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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