He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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