You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
