Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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