dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
