He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
