i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just gift wrapped bread.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
