You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he wants to bone in the snuggie
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
