I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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