im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
