i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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