i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
