Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The feeling are messing with the penis
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
