in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
