at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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