Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
