she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
