This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
