He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize