so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
