i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
