Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize