and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize