They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize