Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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